July 31st 11:46pm 2014

I took a big step forward tonight.

I pierced my own goddman ears.

NOW, for many that may seem dumb. But I did it. By myself. No meds or numbing, nothing. Plus I dyed my hair…


Today marks one step forward.

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It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. Ha ha, funny. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are.

A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now. La di da, it’s happening.

Your mother, your father, your grandparents: they all look at you like you’re some prized jewel and they tell you over and over again just how lucky you are to be young and have your whole life ahead of you. “Getting old ain’t for sissies,” your father tells you wearily.

You wish they’d stop saying these things to you because all it does is fill you with guilt and panic. All it does is remind you of how much you’re not taking advantage of your youth.

You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.

Every day you vow to change some aspect of your life and every day you fail. At this point, you’re starting to question your own power as a human being. As of right now, your fears have you beat. They’re the ones that are holding your twenties hostage.

Stop thinking that everyone is having more sex than you, that everyone has more friends than you, that everyone out is having more fun than you. Not because it’s not true (it might be!) but because that kind of thinking leaves you frozen. You’ve already spent enough time feeling like you’re stuck, like you’re watching your life fall through you like a fast dissolve and you’re unable to hold on to anything.

I don’t know if you ever get better. I don’t know if a person can just wake up one day and decide to be an active participant in their life. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that people get better each and every day but that’s not really true. People get worse and it’s their stories that end up getting forgotten because we can’t stand an unhappy ending. The sick have to get better. Our normalcy depends upon it.

You have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it.

Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?

We shall see.

You’re Not Making The Most Of Your 20s, Ryan O’Connell  (via paintdeath)

(Source: neonenjoysign, via confrontingmyfear)

148,804 notes
michaelcfoster:

Sven, Kristoff and Elsa! #OUAT #Frozen @scottmfoster
confrontingmyfear:

Thank you endlessly to everyone that either posted, reblogged or shared the information. Thanks to all of it we have heard from Rachel and shes safe. I can’t express enough of how grateful it is to know that people can come together like that to help each other out. Again thank you to the whole community for coming together and helping


PLEASE if you shared the previous photo share this so the good news gets out
We assume others show love the same way we do — and if they don’t, we worry it’s not there. Everyone has their own love language. That’s one of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned. (via stay-ocean-minded)

(Source: psych-facts, via thisendlessdestiny)

389,648 notes
confrontingmyfear:

Thank you endlessly to everyone that either posted, reblogged or shared the information. Thanks to all of it we have heard from Rachel and shes safe. I can’t express enough of how grateful it is to know the people can come together like that to help each other out
confrontingmyfear:

My sister hasn’t been seen or heard from for over 12 hours. 
Although this is a common thing we are all very worried because a lot of people have been going missing after warped tour and she had gone alone, with only enough money to get her there and back. 
Last time I talked to her she was going to go see bayside.
 If you know ANYTHING of her where abouts please text me 6304532245 and PLEASE share this around


The photo above was the outfit she wore to warped tour. 
Black hair
She’s around 5’5 
and has a large tattoo of hands on her right thigh.
confrontingmyfear:

My sister hasn’t been seen or heard from for over 12 hours. 
Although this is a common thing we are all very worried because a lot of people have been going missing after warped tour and she had gone alone, with only enough money to get her there and back. 
Last time I talked to her she was going to go see bayside.
 If you know ANYTHING of her where abouts please text me 6304532245 and PLEASE share this around with my IG @rapgamelilmermaid or phone number. 


The photo above was the outfit she wore to warped tour. 
Black hair
She’s around 5’5 
and has a large tattoo of hands on her right thigh. #bringrachelhome
Before you know it it’s 3 am and you’re 80 years old and you can’t remember what it was like to have 20 year old thoughts or a 10 year old heart. This is the scariest fucking text post I’ve ever read (via bl-ossomed)

(Source: anitaspallenberg, via turnerhealys)

762,866 notes